Betsey, Just wanted to pop in and say that you sound very well, in light of everything that's going on! Hope all goes smoothly with D7.
So what's up with MW? What led to your decision? I thought it odd that he made such a bold overture (I was thinking of you the whole time I was on vacation, Betsey) and then never seemed to follow up.
Is there anything he could do at this point to change your mind? Just curious....
Betsey, Just wanted to pop in and say that you sound very well, in light of everything that's going on! Hope all goes smoothly with D7.
So what's up with MW? What led to your decision? I thought it odd that he made such a bold overture (I was thinking of you the whole time I was on vacation, Betsey) and then never seemed to follow up.
Is there anything he could do at this point to change your mind? Just curious....
Honeypot--What a sweet thing that you thought of me on vacation! I've been thinking of you too, and praying for a very easy remainder of your pregnancy (this is something I do now).
Well, at this point I really don't want to look for anything that he could do to change my mind? I really want to let go and let God. I really sense relief from him that we are just going to be very cooperative friends. Hey, wouldn't you have thought in the many phone chats last week that he would have asked me to schedule a time to talk? That would have been a start.
But I really just come back to the thought of being wanted. I sense that he's struggling with what he wants, not knowing if I'm part of that mix. I know enough now to know that I really need something more. I really am okay with this path, Honey. Really.
And if something earth shattering and ground breaking shall occur to change things, I won't be putting them under the microscope and analyzing them because they will be big.
Right now, I really am feeling content.
Merrick, my politically oriented friend, I have absolutely NOOOOOO interest in a political OM. This guy was one of a few straight men there and you know what his opening line to me was? (After he stood aside checking out my form... from head to toe.) "What a really great discreet tattoo! Do you have any more of them?"
WTF? After a convo about how the people like to be kissed before they get f*#cked, I was a little nervous. I forced my good friend to literally glue himself to my side for the rest of the evening. Yes, he's gay and he'd do anything for me!
And when I do get that next tattoo, it's going to be very discreet. Then I can punch this guy's lights out!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hey Bets, Well I wasn't clear in my first post...I didn't go on vacation (sniffle, sob)--I was reiterating MW's thoughts HE had while on vacation. Specifically the ones about you. I suspected that he sortof left that conversation where it last ended and that this played into your decision, but wasn't sure.
He has come a long way but, still, there is nothing wrong with needing more. There is patience, and there is enabling you know? You forcing his hand and demanding a decision isn't the right answer. The right answer would be, of course, for him to conquer his fear and complacency. I hope that he does this soon, regardless of whatever else happens. It can't be a good way to live your life!
Regarding Mr. Smoothlines at the convention, wow, however did you resist punching his lights out after all his slick moves?!
I’m back from some real-world time to check on one of my favourite posters ..... and just wanted to say “congratulations”. Congratulations for the hard work you’ve put in, congratulations for the person you’ve become, congratulations for all that you’re doing for others (standing like a brick beside D7 not least among them) - and finally, congratulations for finding some peace for yourself. You deserve it.
In all honesty, I saw this coming …. Thus my question a while back if you felt that you’d ‘outgrown’ him. Without quite knowing how to say it, I guess I was asking if you felt what he had to offer was what you wanted in a man. You do deserve the full package – the passion, the desire, the deep commitment. If that’s not something he can muster, so be it. You’ll remain great friends and great co-parents to your Ds.
Perhaps – and I say this with some hesitation – perhaps you’re even doing him a favour. Perhaps he really can’t make a commitment of intimacy on the level that you need, and would be miserable trying. Perhaps your decision actually sets him free to be himself. There are some people who really don’t have the palate or the patience for a five-course French-cooked gourmet meal, and and much better with a burger and some fries. If you know what I mean.
All the best of luck to you, Betsey. You deserve the best, and it’s out there, just waiting for you to meet it.
I thought I would come over and let my friends know I'm back from my trip.
I'm having a hard time again.But I know I will spring up again with the help of my friends.I'm sure it is just a let down from coming back but still down is down.
Later Friends. Love, Briget
The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck
Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
Briget, I'll make it over your way next and will try to check back in a little while.
First, many thanks and big hugs to my IM buddies, e-mail buddies and phone chat buddies... all of you. It's helped me over the past week and a half.
Pen, thank you (as always) for putting things out here in such a crystal clear fashion. I DO appreciate that, and you are very gifted with that ability.
I've mainly been concentrating on telling my family members and friends about my decision... and boy, has this been difficult. Everyone is very supportive, some have had reservations about my entire marriage and are now feeling they can be honest with me, and others are just plain sad.
My dad did send me a really terrific e-mail this morning (he has a knack for bringing tears with his eloquence) after our very lengthy convo last night. He commented to me that he's had a feeling all along that Mr. Wonderful would put the decision in my hands... something he feels is grossly unfair. I agree, but it's necessary to get myself to the next level.
But he did reiterate last night and again this morning that he and Mom only want me to be happy and in a position to be loved by someone who truly wants me some day.
I'll be working on the filing issue with Mr. W. in the next few days so we can get this process moving. I'd really like to begin my 2005 with peace--and just spend this time really concentrating on my girls and our lives together, making all these bizarre puzzle pieces fit in some fashion.
My posting is going to be sporadic until then, and when this thread runs out, I think I'll be posting to others instead of putting my drama out here for the world. Or maybe I'll post in Hopefulness... for all of us who are hopeful that the next lesson will be gentle and a heck of a lot more loving.
Thanks for all your great words! You know I appreciate every single one of them.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I've been thinking of you too, and praying for a very easy remainder of your pregnancy (this is something I do now).
Betsey 