Friends, Squatters & Lurkers--Fishbowl musings

[holdingon]

And now, I’m even considering that a perfectly happy marriage, where both partners are anything but unhappy, and might even describe themselves as “very happy” only a few weeks before might be susceptible to an affair ….. simply because one partner allowed a friendship to go too far, out of carelessness more than anything.

Pen,
I was surprised to see you post this. And relieved. And somewhat impressed. It really shows how open you are to see all sides of the issues that led to your M. As a LBS, I think most people prefer to see us as having some "disease." You know, what did you do? This will never happen to me or our M.... yada, yada, yada.

I have two women in my small group at church who have both been OW. They told me all the things that the WA told them... not happy, blah, blah, blah. When I told them that my M seemed good or great to me, they looked at me like I had three eyes.

But it did. As a matter of fact, just a few days prior to bomb #1, I was thinking just how happy I was... I remember it clearly. Obviously, that was just about the time the flashing light on the top of my head went off, and Screwworm got busy.

I do believe that the WA may be "friends" and then some upheaval happens that may cause them to doubt their R or their W. It was a life altering event for my H, the death of his mom. His "friend" was there at the time, I was a convenient blame for the shape of his R with his mom, and there you have it. And you are right, the week before his mom died, maybe he would have said he was happy in his M, too. Maybe not, but he had me fooled.

Anyway, as a former OW, and yes, I know you don't like that title, thanks for trying to see my "side." I'm feeling a tad bid warmer to you (not a whole lot since finding out you are 27...),