Sometimes I swear that Uncle Screwtape penetrates my own thinking as well. I think that it hit a nerve for all of us... and though those of us who hang out here have attacked this subject with verve, it never hurts to see a fresh and concise slant on what really ails us.
Damn, Pen, why the heck did you lurk for so long?
Slowly, what a nice thought from you too! I'm afraid it's just going to be Phoebe here with all of the other friends for awhile. My erstwhile companions are otherwise engaged and you guys are stuck with me...
Getting back to the letter... the last paragraph brings to mind a convo I had with Mr. Wonderful back in April/May. I was in my car waiting for the girls to finish with religious ed class while we conversed. He thanked me for being patient with him and for being kindhearted and generous. I'm glad I acted in that fashion for myself, but I also wonder if it really is going to make a difference when push comes to shove?
His cainercast today is rather interesting:
Are you big or are you small? Are you important or are you insignificant? Do you have a right to your own opinion, or ought you to accept that others know better? These are the questions which keep passing through your mind yet, for once, you don't feel inclined to take them too seriously. You are sure of something. That worries you. What if you are wrong to feel so sure? Listen carefully please. You are not wrong. Nor are you being arrogant. You are doing what is essential and right and wise. Stick with what you have started now. Your journey won't be easy but it will be well worthwhile.
Hmmmmmmm.
I'm not even sure what he's thinking while I've been busy detaching. I've noticed some distance in our conversations this week as well. Today when I called to ask him something, he was not enthused to hear my voice. Instead of assuming it was about me, I asked him if everything was okay?
He immediately launched into a very unpleasant conversation he had with a person in higher authority last night--someone who called him at home (while the girls were with him) to remind him to check his e-mail when he got to work for some big, important news that was forcing a big, yucky meeting later today.
He commented how he was sick to death of working in an environment full of people who constantly lived in crisis management mode and who were merely reactionary.
I could only comment, "I think your industry is the model for that sort of behavior. I hope you manage to get through it okay, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that it isn't bad for longer than today."
He said thanks... he still seems agitated, but then again, I'm not playing the role of soother much now anyway. My instincts tell me he's feeling edgy and maybe even a little angry, and may even feel those things about me. Though I also think if I leave him be, he will figure out that this is about him.
Which brings me to my cainercast:
Why not turn up the pressure? You can take the temperature a degree or two hotter can't you? You surely aren't at breaking point yet are you? Pluto and Mars are effectively turning you into an elastic band, stretched between two hooks. The sharp angle between these two planets is twisting that piece of elastic ever tighter. The fear is that something may snap. But think of a guitar or a piano. The most beautiful music emerges only when the strings are under tremendous tension. There's something perfect and practical about what's happening now. Stop worrying. Relax.
I'm gonna do that now.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
