hd wrote: --------- Plus, she said, I don't "hear" her. ---------
So, does she have a point? Do you hear her? What does she mean by that statement? Are you missing meeting a need that she is being clear about to you?
If you want her engaged in your battle against sexual complacency in your relationship, then you have to find a point to meet her. If you show her that you can take her seriously, then you are in a better position for her to take your needs as serious.
I think she heard what you said. I think she knows that there are issues in the relationship.
I ignored my wife's needs in a particular area of our relationship for many years. She was not holding out on me for punishment, but the unmet need was a very real factor in her ability to respond to me sexually. I agreed to address my shortcomings in the relationship, AFTER she had already agreed to address hers. It is true that she was very aware of my feelings on the matter, she she decided to answer the 'ultimatum' as it were.
What is killer is that it was really such a small thing for me to fix, but it meant a lot to her. She had given up on getting her needs met.
If your wife is expressing a legitimate need that is going unmet by you, then maybe you have to be the first with a peace offering. There is no way for us to know, you will have to determine if it is legitimate or not.
My relationship was in trouble and close to ending. My wife made the only choice left to her in an effort to save the marriage. I am certain that was very hard for her. Through a lot of grief and tears, we have worked out our differences and gotten back on track. We are now making love an average of 13 out of 14 days. It is really hard to have major issues and keep that up. The issues tend to show themselves very quickly :-)
So, don't overlook what may very well have been the key to a real connection with your wife. Address it, but make sure that you stand your ground on your needs. They are no less important.
Hang in there guy, I detect changes on the horizon! -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
