well we made it through... not too much to report. Yesterday we had a nice day at the ocean... wonderful place to reflect. I'm looking forward to my weekend away. Just some time to reflect and think about what i want in life.
I'm so dissapointed in me as a person. I know if i could just build myself up and stop whining so much that my marriag would be healthier because of it... I've done pretty well at keeping the R talk down to a minimum. We rented two movies last night, "against the ropes" and "secret window" both very good.. and just what i needed to distract me from disecting my marriage... if i could just stop thinking about it every minute... just let things lay for a little while. H can go to work without thinking about it, why cant I??
I am a writer.. and have put my writing on the back burner since having children. I have finished a childrens book, but that is all I have worked on. I wrote a novel when I was 16, and have been meaning to dig it out and rewrite it now that I am older. I have never submitted anything out of fear of rejection... and quite honestly i think it is time for me to get out of my funk, and start writing again. It was my love, and i put it off... another thing that i put off, was getting my motorcycle permit. Out of fear.. but when i was a little girl and rode around with my father, i always said i would get my own some day.... what am i waiting for? I've always wanted to train to boX... i dont really want to boX but i wanted to train for it... to train for something that would make me feel strong.... what am I waiting for? I've always wanted to learn how to draw or water paint... what am i waiting for? I always played guitar and i have written 3 songs... i've wanted to put them on a disk... what am i waiting for? I always wanted to be a great mother and a wife.... what am I waiting for..
Goals.. Reread Flylady and rejoin her site.. begin with babysteps and start taking control of my home (for me and my family) Plan an activity a day for me and my children to learn something new, or play something old. Start writing again Get my Motorcycle permit learn to boX learn to paint/draw record my songs
new focuses are just what I need...... hugs to anyone who still reads this
