Holy Moly, Kristy. Your H's statement of "I'm not invisible and I'm not indestructable" really has my mind reeling. In the past I think I have taken it for granted that he would be strong and never gave it much thought as to how hard that must have been sometimes. Kudos to your H for being able to speak his mind and feelings and convey to you how much he NEEDS YOU in a way that is positive for you both. You loving yourself can benefit your whole family!
Your update is wonderful; isn't it nice to feel loved without having to resort to things that make you feel bad about yourself? Plus everything you mentioned is empowering to you. They are things that you are DOING, instead of sitting around and hoping to get his attention with a sigh. Which aint gonna happen, girlfriend! Great job and keep it up.
Bets, I don't know where I belong! I am homeless. I don't really belong in piecing, as our marriage is pretty much back together. It is not sex starved so I really don't belong there either. But it is still highly at risk for all of the old patterns to come creeping back in and ruining all my hard work. (ok, H's hard work too, lol) If there was a forum called "Moving Forward: How to keep from backsliding" I would move there in a heartbeat.
One of my biggest pitfalls is staying positive in the face of loneliness. I am a stay at home mother and found that I dealt with the often-less-than-passionate feeling in my M much better when I worked. It was a distraction for nearly the entire day. Now I am in my home, near OUR things, surrounded by pictures of us, making OUR bed, etc and it gets hard sometimes. I do best on the days when he calls or emails me but I realize that MY state of mind should not ever be dependent on what he does or does not do. So, I struggle on the days when there is no contact from him and then little passion when he gets home (read: he has no energy left for me), and I thrive on the days when he does have energy. I realize now that it is an occupational hazard (of being a SAHM) and not necessarily that he is an evil and diabolical husband. However, don't pay any attention to me if we haven't ML for a week or so...then I may change my mind and decide that he is evil.
Anyhoo, for now I will lurk and occasionally post on my own thread until I figure out where to 'live'.
