Well i'm back... we had an alright time. Most of the week he spent fishing, golfing ect... I did my best to limit my expectations. I gave him his Space... and overall i noticed a difference in his personality. I went for a canoe ride by myself.. which i havent done the whole 12 years that we have been going there... i went fishing by myself, and i went swimming by myself.. i did it all for me too. It felt really really nice. I spent a lot of time with my two boys and tried to do as many 180's as i could.. after finishing the DR book, i really felt like i had a handle on things. I spent a whole week away from the Internet, a whole week away from the phone... and i was able to really connect with myself. I dont know if I am any closer to piecing together my marriage... i dont know where I am at as a person... but i know that i am moving forward trying to take it one minute, one second at a time. The hardest thing for me is staying in the moment... Being back home is tough.. he will return to work on Tuesday and then it will be back to "normal".. I want to be strong and independent, because that is what he is attracted too, and that is a 180 for me.. so lets hope i continue DB'ing efficiently.
I rewrote all of my goals, and broke them down into solution action oriented... I think i will be able to achieve them one by one. I also wrote down some mini goals for my personal self and for my children. I have planned two weekends away in July and August just for me. I will be surrounded by friends, and i will take a "me"break. H did ask me last night what it was that I wanted.. and i said "i want to be validated as me... Not only a mom and a wife... but a woman." He seemed to take it to heart.. and i think we are making some headway. Please keep me in your thoughts that i am able to stay on this Db'ing path. Hugs ....
