Welcome to Piecing and bravo on your decision to save your M.
I don't post, or even go to, the Infidel forum, so this is the first I am meeting you.
To be honest here, the two "goals" you wrote down should not be goals at all. Those are things you NEED to NOT do. That is what we call snooping around here. And if it is one thing that we learn here, is that snooping hardly ever produces positive results. I have been guilty of snooping myself in the past, and each time what I learned did not make me feel better.
So, don't make those goals, but "Don't do's".
It seems you do have contact with him, and it seems cordial. This is great, whereas many people do not have this luxury.
I don't know how much you have read DB or DR, but if you have them, read and reread the chapter on goals. I think its the most important one to understand completely. If that is not enough, there are threads in Newcomers that can shed some light on any questions you may have. And, you can always ask the salty dogs here (and the pups too!). They'll never steer you wrong.
You will experience alot of anxiety, alot of pain and more emotions that you thought unimaginable. All I can say is find it within yourself to come here and vent. To read your books. to do what ever is necessary to quench the feeling you have.
You have some major steps to take, and believe me, you only have begun. Trust will not come overnight. And what I mean by trust, meaning trust within yourself and your R.
The journey is long, it is hard. But it is a rewarding one if you travel it well, travel it right, no matter what destination it brings you to.
And who knows, you may see me and others along the way!
Triple J
Things were different then. All is different now. I tried to explain, somehow..........
Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)
