First of all I want to thank those folks who have visited and at the same time apologize to those folks for not personally responding. My time for posting in the last few weeks has been seriously limited. I hope I will be able to repay your kindness soon.
With all that has happen lately, I've continued to believe I will get thru it all and felt I didn't need to look for a lot of support.
... but right now I really am struggling with a new kink and I really could use you folks help.
The day started off better than average. I woke up to a phone call from CAW asking if she could come over. I said sure, I just needed to get ready. She came over alone (figured D11 would be coming over too.) She bought up how it was a beautiful day and she didn't want to waste it. I suggest we pack a picnic and head to a riverside park. She asked jokingly, if this was another date. So off we went. We both enjoyed the afternoon spending most of it walking in the park hand in hand and talking.
Then she called D11 to get ready with her Halloween costume and we would pick her up and go over to the house to trick or treat. When we got to the apartment, she wasn't ready yet. So we sat down and watched the end of the NY Giant game. During the banter, D11 made a comment on the Jeep reeked of smoke and to step-D24 not to smoke in the Jeep anymore and then added both of you. (meaning CAW). I let the comment go for then. When I first met CAW she was a light smoker. She however, would never smoke in my presense. When I moved in to live with her, it was on the stipulation that she would quit. As you folks may have figured out by now, I'm pretty tolerable to just about anything (even her seeing another guy for two years while attempting to save our M). But when it comes to smoking I have very strong feelings against it.
While going around "trick or treating" CAW pull out a lighter and started playing with it. I was debating internal if and how I could ask if she's now smoking when D11 open the door. She saw the lighter and asked, "You're not going to smoke are you?" That allowed me to ask, "You started smoking?" She simply said yes. I stayed quiet. After walking some more, she asked if I would get mad if she had a cigarette. I said, "It's your life but its a total turn off for me. I can't believe you would start smoking with all the health problems you have now. Its a nasty habit." To which she only replied. "I know." She didn't smoke while the whole time we were out. That was it, I tried to focus on D11 and what we were doing.
Afterwards, I suggest we all get a pizza. As I drove she reached over and held my hand. After pizza, she thanked me for a nice day and gave me a couple of kisses and we departed.
Now I'm home and I find myself stewing about this new development. I mean its wrong in sooo many ways ... and I know I can't stop her if she so chooses for an earlier grave, but I do feel like she has crossed a line that I have trouble accepting. She been crying about how tight money is and her she is "burning" it. ... And especially concerning D11. Is she smoking in front of her? Well, if D11 knows about it I guess the answer is yes. I can tell she disapproves. Is she smoking in the home? I have to consider D11's health. The three of them have been passing colds around for now going on two months. CAW had just battle a bout of bronchitis. There's second hand smoke to consider. Do I start considering altering the custody arrangement? If so, it would probably mean having to go thru the legal process. Strangely enough, I feel like I've been betrayed all over again and don't know what to do about it?
