Wow, busy busy in your world, huh? I think it's fantastic that you and D19 had that talk...you know if YOU hadn't changed the Dad you were...this would NOT have happened...how much more bitterness, ignorance, blame would there have been? Years and years of it.
The past is the past, it's how we deal with it that counts...and like MOOKA, I'm saddened by CAW's response to D19's reaching out.
Now the little kisses....you may be right in your thought that she's trying to ease the tension (tension from you going somewhat grey despite the schedule of contact)...
But...why bother now? And her asking you "is this what you wanted?"...curious...although I DO recall (correct me if I'm wrong here) you saying that in the past CAW had kind of used physical attention as currency? or felt pressure for such?
I think you're doing right just playing it cool...I like the button downed shirt...shake that image up some...she's not expecting you to just stagnate, is she??
Your R with your daughters does sound better than ever, and no, the irony is not lost on me.
It is hard for you to let CAW comes and go as she pleases. My W left last Wed, we did not have any talk since then. She still calls S sometimes. My S is the victim here. He is very sad. I am trying help him.
I have changed the lock on my house. I don't trust my W and the om come into my house while I am away. My W took all of her cloths and belongings. Including all of the share porfolio I bought some for her. Only few shares she bought herself. Surprisingly it was easy to go dark. I don't feel too much pain. I am only sad for my S. I am busier as a single parent with 2 kids. But both of them can help. Give me three months, I will be OK.
Suprisingly, I've been so dog gone busy, I haven't really had time to get angry lately. I thought I would end up finding all this "spare" time now , but instead my "to do" list is still greater than the free time I have. Unfortunately, that means I'm several days behind on everyone here again and don't think I'll get to catch up to next week sometime.
There's really not much to report concerning CAW. After the open house at school last Tuesday, CAW has really started distancing. Last Friday, she did come by to help install the doors on the shed albeit nearly an hour late. The whole time she was quiet, distant ... saying she wasn't feeling too well, but she was quite helpful. She did skip lunch and being a diabetic that always ends up throwing her for a loop (but she still does way too frequently). So I suggest taking her out to dinner as a way to thank her for her help today. We all go out. She remained pleasant but quiet and withdrawn.
One huge positive was D11 actually stayed overnight two nights in a row during the weekend. We had a good time and I think she now looks forward to come here. Today, she brought home a new girl in school who she has befriended.
Also, now the truck is back in shape and ready for the winter, so yesterday on a whim, I just took off for a ride for about an hour thru the Catskills. Haven't just drove like that in a long time. It really helped sooth the soul.
Today, due to nearly an all day downpour, I decided to do some housecleaning. I started with the master bath. I pulled out a tote bin full of lotions, conditioner, beauty creams, etc... that have collected under the sink. I also downsized the five different kinds of tile cleaners, three toilet cleaners, etc., so I actually can now store product that get used down there.
Well, that's all I really have time for now, but hopefully I'll get to check in here soon...
Hi KAW - Me too, have not had a chance to get my thoughts together, never mind walk these boards
Just wanted to stop by and say how happy I am that D11 stays overnight now - guess Betsey was on the money, again, that this just needed adjustment time. Dad sounds like he is slowly adjusting to the new regime too? Busy is good, busy is good...
I am keeping up on your sitch. I second on what Slowly says:
Quote: Dad sounds like he is slowly adjusting to the new regime too? Busy is good, busy is good...
So glad your D!! is home more,too....she is so loved by you and knows it well. You continue doing what you are doing. Let CAW go on her own journey...open up your world to new people....I don't care how reserved you might be....just be friendly to whomever you meet....grocery store, errands, library, your D11 school, her activities...women are out there looking too y'know. Just waiting for a kind, gentle smile to come their way...opening the door for conversation.
Just some thoughts for you to consider. Are you interested in any churches in your area? Clubs? Taking classes at a community center? Volunteering with needy groups....fun activities?
Not around much myself, but you're always the first one I check on. Sounds to me like things are going well...
What struck me in your last post is that although you noted CAW's withdrawal and quietness...you didn't agonize over what it could or could not mean...that's GOOD...it's HER business how she deals with her sitch and emotions now...maybe it's just all hitting home.
I was going to ask if you looked at the colours changing on your drive, but I'm not even sure where you're at and if it's fall there yet! Sure is here, the Maples are doing their wonderful tri-coloured thing...part of one tree is green, another part yellow, then orange and finally firey Canadian Red!
As far as making new contacts, a smile and mention of the weather or traffic or whatever goes a looong way!
Sorry I was busy and withdrawn for a while due to my separation.
I hope you are doing well. CAW still came and help you. It is something. Me and my W do not have any R anymore. I went dark for the last 2 weeks. I feel Ok now. Still grieving th elost of my beloved family. But my kids are with me. I am busier as a single parent. But I am glad that they stay with me. Life goes on. It will be a better life ahead.
KAW, Just checking in! You sound like you are handling things pretty good. I totally understand the not wanting to come home to "discover" what is gone, now. Been there, done that! It is truly an awful feeling. Too much anxiety! Though for the life of me, at the time, it never occured to me to tell H how I felt.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
