I go away for a few days and come back to a lot of water that's passed under your bridge.
I have to say that I came to the same conclusion as Mooka about CAW in regards to her reaction to your D19. But since my extended family's skeleton includes some experience in this matter, I think it's wise not to ASSume that CAW actually feels this way.
The mind often denies what it feels it cannot handle... I'm not saying this is right. But I've seen it happen too often to not recognize what it might mean to her. After all, that would force her to see her son in a very different light... one that I would imagine might break any mother.
I know I would be DEVASTATED.
Now, on to you...
What I really like about you and what I think works in your Rs with everyone is your continued willingness to put yourself out there and discuss things. You actually sit down to talk to others and ask for honest feedback.
Friend, I think that is probably your #1 attribute and one that will continue to serve you well... no matter what the outcome might eventually be. (Of course, this is my opinion, but I'm entitled to one!)
One of the issues that keeps resurfacing in my life is one that pretty much applies to everyone here too. That is, change is vital to growth... and it's always for our benefit. But it is often not perceived as good.
Keeping that in mind, I think you have an outstanding start on this new path. Now I'll ask a more sticky question for you to answer when you get back...
How are you doing on the anger/resentment front? I care enough to ask. Because I know I had to constantly work on these in order to feel happy again.
Big hugs to you.
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Bets 
