From Bets:
Quote:

I won't kid you, though. There are going to be times when just being nice to her is going to stretch you.

Well that didn't take long to happen ... Every waking moment for the last week she is only focused on being on her own.

Last night was definitely the worst. Yesterday, CAW went the apartment to give it a cleaning and I had to work a 12 hour shift. After an hour commute home, enter the house and the living room and kitchen were a shambles and CAW was laying in bed. I proceeded to make myself dinner around the filth and eat. D11 apparently already helped herself to a dinner of junk food from the wrappers all over the place. Afterwards, I proceeded to spend another hour cleaning up so that I could get to the point of readying myself for another day's work the next day so I can make as little noise as possible at 4:30 in the morning and yes, I have to work all weekend. So after being up at 4:30am, I was not able to come to rest until 8:30 pm. While CAW stayed laying in bed watching TV, she senses I was a bit angry, says, "Sorry but after cleaning to the apartment I was too tired to anything more around here." Like putting gasoline on the fire. I just replied "Whatever" and we didn't speak any more. So I just fortified her perception that I'm just an angry person that she can no longer live with. PERIOD. I sooo much want to tell her off ... "Yes, I'm angry because my life sucks right now and I have you to thank for it!", but I holding it in. <Whew> but it does feel good to let it out so someone can hear tho. This week, I've really been letting the rope drop. Never thought I'd say this, but I starting to regret she's going to take me up on my offer and stay around for another week so I can help her with moving some furniture. So now I have to hold on for another week.

I noticed a typo in my last post. I had felt thruout all out conversations that she was holding back certain things (mostly about OM) This week D19 confided in me about what CAW told her at the time she informed D19, which was shortly after she obtained the loan.

CAW wrote OM a letter. In the letter she wrote she needed to talk to him about their future. OM's W ended up reading the letter and contacted CAW on her cell which apparently lead to the fury of phone calls between the two numbers over the two day period I noted. In the immediate aftermath is when CAW aquired a bank loan in person. The fall out between CAW & OM seems to be her statement that she has realized that they have no future together, but apparently she also believes she and I don't either.

I'm putting this all here to help remind me that not only does she need to be on her own to sort all the turmoil going on in her head, but its going to take a long ... Long ... LONG time for her to figure any good from all this ... 2005 ... ??? ... I see myself forever tied to this murk ... unless I'm to shove her in a closet and throw away key. (Figuratively speaking that is...)

Sage and Mattie thanks for dropping out of lurk mode to lend your support. You're right Mattie, I'm in much better shape to deal with this than I was two years ago.

HON, Slowly, Raindeer, wonder, Lostove, Shiny , TripleJ, Merrick, PnB Your support is boosting for sure. Thanks for the vote of confidence that I will get thru this with grace, but I asure you I feel like I'm stumbling at best.

'til later,
KAW