Your e-mail and your post are so insightful, and you continually amaze me with the depth of your understanding for this stuff.
HoldingOn makes a point on the custody while engaged in a R with OM. I believe that Merrick also did some research as to the laws of your state and I think you might find that D11's fate isn't necessarily sealed as far as living with her mom is concerned? Merrick is on vacation until Monday, and I'm sure he will be happy to share his atty info with you. He sent me her bio, but I can't seem to find it--otherwise, I'd send it your way.
I found your insight on the "is this fair" issue extremely uplifting. To see that you understand that you deserve to be #1 to another woman is a wonderful thing. I'm really proud of you for stating this out here for the rest of us to see.
I'll respond more to your reply via e-mail.
But I do want to touch on the anger thing here, because I think it's an issue that none of us should forget--the lesson is always present and needs to be managed.
KAW, I see your anger as completely justified. The fact that you are acknowledging its presence is a good thing. And even better? You know that you need a supportive outlet to share it so it doesn't build and turn inward. I've read enough about you to know that you are a solution minded guy.
Well, anger directed inward only prevents that process. So good for you for recognizing that you are feeling angry. Hey, I think at the very least, she should be communicating with you on why this path is going to happen rather than pull a Robert Ursay and move out in the middle of the night... of course, I'm one for disclosure, but then again, I think I'm sort of reasonable.
Next on the agenda is the convo between you and your sister--on not preventing CAW from bearing the consequences of her choices.
Another thought that rolls around some of my spiritual and religious friends is the concept of consequences. That allowing someone to fall is part of the overall plan and unfortunately, it seems to be a big factor for most of us to learn and grow.
After all, you would undoubtedly allow your children to face them, so it goes without saying that your spouse needs to accept responsibility for his or her decisions as well. This isn't KAW's decision, but CAW's. I'm glad you addressed this topic here.
I don't fear, KAW. The fact that you're addressing some of the more negative aspects of this process here with the rest of us is healthy. And if you don't feel comfortable venting here at times, feel free to shoot me off an e-mail. I'm happy to listen (just ask Merrick or Hud).
My final statement with a big cyber hug is that you deserve to be #1. That is true, and I hope you never forget it. I think this is what I was trying to realize earlier this summer. Staying married to Mr. Wonderful just for the sake of staying married is no longer an option for me. I deserve to be loved above all others, and so do you.
Three cheers for all of us here on the BB!
Now off to work before I get fired...
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Bets 
