Thanks for all the prayers, but my world is about to get rocked pretty hard. Shortly after the funeral, CAW mentioned she has lost all faith and I've notice she has stopped wearing her cross nectlace she has worn every day since I had given it to her so many years ago. Last weekend things really took a turn for the worse with CAW bluntly telling me to get away from her whenever I came close. For the last three days, she has spent alot of time away "going to the gym" or running errands, but act as if she's hiding something. At night she has been having trouble falling asleep, but says not a word. When I inquired she just said she's not feeling well. Last night I literally got the shakes while laying next to her. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. Not to mention that "letter" showed back up on her nitestand again on Monday.

I've seen all these signs before. So tonight I broke down and did some serious snooping. The pattern of contacting OM with cell phone for the past year or so has been a call every 7 to 10 days. There's been 9 calls in the past 2 days and $3,000 dollars just showed up in her checking account yesterday!

CAW has been collecting unemployment over the summer, I know of no other means CAW could deposit that amount and to coincidental it occurs when there is so much contact with OM. Folks, I can't help but see this as wrtiing on the wall.

Seems like enough cash to get a place of her own and hire a lawyer.

I just don't know where to go from here. Oh, I know I'll be OK and I know I won't stop her from leaving, but after that ... ?

Do I continue to wait it out until all her arrangements are complete and then she tells me?

With D11 in the picture still, I can't see doing that ... Custody issues will need to be resolved quickly, since I'm sure she gonna want full custody and support.

For nearly three years I had always dreaded this route and now all I want to do if I'm forced to go this way is to get it done and over with quickly and move on.

I could really use some guidence here. Sorry but I feel I let down all that have come to know me ... most of all, I feel I have let myself down and my kids.

I guess I need to start looking at picking a whole kind of pieces. Life after seperation or worse...

'til later,
KAW