Hi folks. My wife became pregnant in Oct of 2002. That was really the last "era" that we had normal, quality sex. I didn't mind going without during the pregnancy as I figured it was just a phase, and there were many more things on our mind.
We have had some problems in our marriage (got married after the she was preg, actually), but we are trying to work on things. For the record, we are pretty equal here at home, I cook, clean, change diapers, etc...she is a stay-at-home, and admittedly, is still pretty exhausted.
Problem is, he is now one years old, and she says she still has ZERO drive, and could not imagine ever having sex again, the rest of her life. She said it is "like less than zero"...and I believe her (no evidence of cheating, etc), she had some physical problems after the baby, and has, of course, gained weight..but just again, for the record, I am VERY supportive of her, and how she looks, etc (I really don't care, I just want to be happy..she is still beautiful to me). I think deep down, part of it is, with our problems in the past, and her feeling so fat and ugly now, she just doesn't care.
Does this ever end? I want to hang in there...but basically, I have gone almost two years without real sex . I think we have about five times...and she has given me numerous hand-jobs, which apparently, turn her off also. I am very fit, athletic (built like a 20-year old)...before the pregnancy we sometimes had sex 3 times a day M-F, and up to 5 times on a Sat or Sunday. We never had any real sex problems, she was slighly more conservative than I would like, but I was very satisfied, as was she.
For anyone out there who has had a baby, or been in this situation, does this end? Like I said, I help out...I do everything I can, and she is very appreciative of it, and in fact feels sorry for me, saying that she wants to be honest, taht she just doesn't ever want to have sex again.
What should I do? I figure her lack of true sleep (he is one of those kids, although I started sleeping in the queen bed with him lately), is causing a drop in her testosterone, or fluctuating her horomones at least.
She told me to get a g/f, but I am not going to do that (its irresponsible), and too much of a hassle. SHe is being geniune, in that she really wishes she could want it, but she doesn't, and I don't want to "force" (so to speak) her to do it once a week if she doesn't want it..that's not right either.
