Is it just a HDW thing?

[NOPkins]

Annette said:
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That would be no problem. I think the first thing I have to do is make it well known I am not happy with sleeping in separate rooms, and being virtually alone every night during the week.
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Amen. Step one is getting him back in the bed with you. That was the first big hurtle in my relationships recovery. I don't know if you have read any of my threads, but my wife was spending every night on the couch. In my case, I think that she was far too comfortable in our relationship and the couch certainly took care of any issues that would 'arise' during the course of the evening.

I would think that you need to get him in your bed first thing. That will let you know if he is actually having erections (I think this likely) and what he has been doing with them (masturbating).

I had thought that maybe he didn't even get around much, but you said he was working full time cleaning. That is a fairly physically demanding job. I suspect that he might be servicing himself in the comfort of his own bed.

In any case, getting him into your bed is a great place to start working on the relationship. I insisted that my wife sleep with me. Once that was re-established in our relationship, when she slipped up, I nailed it - probably way too hard and angry, but hey, I am human too. Now, there is no doubt where she will sleep.

How do you get him to sleep in your bed? I have no clue other than to address it directly with him. If he is fit enough for work, he is fit enough for some conflict. If in doubt, call his doctor. If you can't seem to broach the subject, start climbing into his bed every night. If he moves to another bed, follow him.

In my experience, the only way to start something is to pour some energy into it. Hubby is due a wake up call, you have to phone it in :-)

-NOPkins-