Sage- Okay, I did have a horrible, major backslide last night, precisely because I was FISHING for those words you waited a year and a half to hear. I forced an R talk, and it just became a fight/bitch session.
R talks are almost never a good idea, are they? They just tend to create distance, I think, and I never hear what it is I want to hear, I only reinforce ambivalence on his AND my part. H said last night that "he has been sure in the past that he wanted a divorce, but he didn't feel that way know. Then he said that he was afraid that he may never know what he wants."
I could have validated there, but I obviously didn't, and it took me forever to calm down and be receptive. I am impatient with him not living at home, even though he is now officially spending three nights a week at home. I am kind of being impatient, aren't I?
I am so sorry to hijack your thread - it just all spille dout. What I meant to say was, "I am so proud of you for your wonderful DBing and receptiveness to H!"
Hugs, Myrrh
P.S. Anyone else ever had an "R talk hangover?" Puffy eyes, hollow feeling in the pit of the stomach, feeling of insecurity in the relationship...does coffee help those?
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
