Sorry to leave you hanging (and Nitaf, I'll try to come by soon! I promise!) -- simply put, work has been hell. Busy, yes, but also an emotional turmoil with a guy that I have to work closely with. He's gone out of his way (ok, probably not on purpose) to alienate just about everyone -- last week we had a candid conversation and now he has completely FREAKED! He's been ranting to my boss about EVERYONE (including me!) and everything and we're all sort of reeling from it. It's definitely been demoralizing.
anyway, the weekend was great. h and I are doing really well! We went to dinner and a movie Friday night. Saw "Door in the Floor" which was a really, really good movie but had very strong themes of a marriage in distress, infidelity, etc. It was difficult to watch but so well done that I really enjoyed it.
Saturday I ran some errands and then went to lunch with my sister and my mom. My relationship with my mother is so strained and lunch was no better...she put me on the spot about some stuff and I was honest with her which just upset us both. UGH. anyway, when I got home I found that h had spent the entire day working in the yard and around the house! He got an amazing amount of stuff done!
We went for a hike then got food and watched a movie in.
Sunday we spent the AM at h's baseball game then relaxed at home for the rest of the day -- took a walk, watched tv, snuggled on the couch. We had a lot of "talking" time this weekend -- no R talks of course but lots and lots of sharing and conversing, etc. There was a time when I was convinced that my h didn't "communicate" -- sigh -- he's been doing it all along, I think!
Anyway, good stuff all around...now if only I could find another job????!!!
Sage
PS Pam -- Mondays aren't the trigger they once were! Especially since I stopped drinking caffeine here at work!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
When IS it ok to have R talks? Or are they just unecessary regardless of what the condition of the M is? Again...just curious.
Minnie -- I actually meant to put a smiley face next to my comment!
What I'm finding for me and h is that stuff about our R is interwoven in the conversations that we have casually, every day and that the "let's sit down and discuss" doesn't work too well for us at all. What I'm going to be working on over in the KLA forum is how to make sure (as much as anyone can!) that the lines of communication are open so that I can ask and he can ask for what we need or want without the fanfare that we used to apply to that kind of discussion.
Sage -- who isn't being clear at all!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quote: that the lines of communication are open so that I can ask and he can ask for what we need or want without the fanfare that we used to apply to that kind of discussion.
Sage -- who isn't being clear at all!
You are very clear! I can't wait to read as I think the hard part is HOW to keep those lines open.
I rarely post to you, but read your thread lots. Want you to know you have got me thinking in a different direction on my H and his communicating style. That sometimes his one word responses mean a whole lot more than just that word.
Well for instance, I use the word "stupid" a lot, not to call someone dumb, but to say "they're just not getting it or don't they see the real picture."
Okay I'm rambling on your thread, but thank you for stating things that are making sense to me.
Quote: simply put, work has been hell. Busy, yes, but also an emotional turmoil with a guy that I have to work closely with. He's gone out of his way (ok, probably not on purpose) to alienate just about everyone -- last week we had a candid conversation and now he has completely FREAKED! He's been ranting to my boss about EVERYONE (including me!) and everything and we're all sort of reeling from it. It's definitely been demoralizing.
Hi Ms. Sage,
Some random thoughts this evening. Probably not anything that will help but thought I would throw them out for you.
I know that your job has been an ongoing stress but you don't feel you can leave it right now.
Something I have discovered for me is when the job stress gets too intense and the sitch seems rather hopeless is I am in part projecting some emotions/perceptions of my own into the sitch and if I can look at it from a different angle then I can sometimes alleviate some of the stress.
Obviously this guy freaking out and everyone up in arms can't be overlooked, but it probably will settle back down after awhile. Situations rarely stay static.
I know when the accounting firm let me go, I had debated for some time leaving the job as it stressed me out so bad. But it was a darn good job and there were parts I really liked. Anyway when you look at the job from the angle that I was suddenly looking at it there were other ways I could have looked at some of the stress or even dealt with some of the sitchs.
I wasn't let go because of any problems, they actually found the job for me that I have now. They just downsized that area of the firm and I was one of the newer, less experienced people in that area.
Anyway I have found that same sort of differing outlook to be true in more than one job sitch and even in more than jobs but sometimes in life in general.
Hope I didn't sound totally ditzy here tonight.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
At my work, there is one person who often screams and rants over the tiniest things.
For a long while, I was so scared about that attitude being turned my way. But when it happened, my boss reassured me that was just the way she was. And that no one would think less of me.
Does this guy have that sort of recognition at your job?
but lots and lots of sharing and conversing, etc. There was a time when I was convinced that my h didn't "communicate" -- sigh -- he's been doing it all along, I think! 
Any chance you could db this guy???? 
