Quote: I just realized this: are you being a water-balloon?
I have greatly improved my water-balloon capabilities when the topics are low pressure. I have even done a good job with some topics that used to scare me a great deal ($, the house). I find myself turning from a water balloon to an ice balloon when the topic hits on the emotional makeup of our m, on my need or desire for support, on h's willingness to help out, etc.
I'm finding that I rush through even positive conversations of late if they bear any resemblance to R talk I think I've gotten so used to NOT having them with h that one does come up (even if he's initiated it), I flee!
As for your other question...
NO ASSumptions LISTEN VALIDATE LISTEN some more SLOW down the conversation (match his pace) Say less than you want Ask leading questions Revisit the conversation later if needed Realize that saying nothing is ok, too!
More as I figure them out for myself!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
when the topic hits on the emotional makeup of our m, on my need or desire for support, on h's willingness to help out, etc.
