Quote: May I make a suggestion? I sense that you haven't fully embraced the notion of focusing on working on yourself w/o the help or "keeping pace" of h, too. What if you set some reasonable time frame for trying it -- I think to be realistic you'd need a 6 month period -- what if you said to yourself...for the next 6 months I will release thoughts of "well, why isn't HE working too" and focus on strengthening myself and our marriage by changing my behaviors. Then, in 6 months, you can take a pulse and see if you're satisfied with the level of changes that h may have made even without your intervention!!! I think if you are totally committed and diligent you may be VERY surprised at what gets accomplished even WITHOUT your FOCUS.
This is a really good idea. You're right that I continue to have this attitude that he has to "help" or that he has to work at the R too, and what about his issues, etc. His mom has told him a bazillion times that we should go to MC together. H is not interested, and he usually says, "It's her problem," which causes me to feel angry.
