Jim, My H had back surgery in 1992 for ruptured L4 & L5. It did interfere with LM but he was much younger then and like you, would go for it anyway.
He has had health problems - crohn's is no picnic and I understand that. When he had the back problem any painkillers he took really wreaked havic on his Crohn's. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't.
The medications he takes are known to have severe sexual side effects. I have got out on the websites and checked it all out so I know that he is not doing this to be a jerk - it is like a switch has been turned off and we cannot turn it back on. To stop taking the medication means a return to severe flare ups that makes his life a living hell.
I finally have put a finger on what makes me sad. It is never seeing sexual desire on my DH face for me. It used to be there all the time...it is the sadness that I feel when I remark on something sexual from our past and he responds like I said it was a nice sunset. It is knowing when I do wrap my arms around him that he doesn't feel the rush of lust that he used to.
We get along better now than we ever have. He is generous for the most part and we go places and do things together.
I just miss the sexual side of our marriage. I miss having a lover.
Because I love him very much I am working very hard to accept the results of his Crohns. It is not something he ask for. I just wish that he could understand how the lack of physical touch effects me.
