I see some simlarities in your H and myself. He (nearly) always says "he's fine" no matter how he really feels. I'd do exactly the same thing, handle it myself the best way I could w/o burdening those I love. I would want my family to be understanding that I'm often in pain, but (here's the point) I wouldn't want it to rule or ruin my life. IOW, BE UNDERSTANDING, BUT DON'T TREAT ME LIKE I'M SICK!
So, what would you do about this if he wasn't sick? Would you give him the pass on your sex life like you're doing now? Would you let him hide behind some other excuse (too tired, too stressed, too lazy, want TV instead, etc.)? If the answer to that is NO, then you owe it both of you to press him on it now (IMO).
There's something else going on with him besides Crohn's. I'm guessing he's feeling inadequate or sorry for himself because of it. I understand why he might, but he doesn't HAVE to feel that way. It's a choice he's making.
If this line of reasoning (guessing, actually) is correct, you owe it to your M to call him on it. He obviously needs your help to get past it.
Good luck!
Mike - expert counselor for others, clueless for self
