Mike, As I told Honeypot this gives me much to think about. I have constantly beat myself up not to be so selfish when I know for a fact he is ill. In 1990 he went for 196 lbs to 158 lbs in 6 weeks or so. Was so sick his hands were shaking and his face was pasty white. He had a similar episode two years ago where he lost 30 lbs in a very short length of time.
I also know he HATES being ill and refuses really to say he is sick. If I ask him how he feels he ALWAYS says "I'm fine" regardless of how he does feel. He has gone to work no matter what. He hates for me to tell anyone that he has Crohn's or any problem for that matter. He is an extremely private person.
He works out everyday to keep up his strength. He is very diligent about his diet and what he eats.
I would say truely that the thing that has suffered the most is our sexual relationship. He goes to work everyday and he has a stressful, demanding job at an engineering firm. He keeps our yard looking wonderful (of course he recently bought a zero turning radius lawnmower)and keeps our swimming pool looking sparkling clean.
He rides his Harley motorcycle which he dearly loves - I just wish he would ride me!
He works hard at NOT letting Crohn's take over his life but I think the one thing that is suffering is our sex life.
He knows that I love him - I tell him so all the time. He knows I still think he is a hottie - I tell him that all the time too. And he is - he looks pretty darn terrific for almost 50!
I guess on this I just don't know how to stand up for myself - how do you insist someone make love to you and for them to LIKE it? He said also that the kids are always here and that they are. We have a 13 and 16 year old still at home. Our 20 year old is married. It isn't like when they were little and we could send them outside.
This is something we have talked about. In the morning his stomache is less than wonderful. I know he got up in the middle of the night last night and when I asked he actually told me his stomache was hurting. At night he is pretty much wiped out and he takes medication that as soon as his head hits the pillow he is OUT. The afternoon would be the best time but that is kinda hard with two big kids right up in your Kool-Aide.
I want our relationship to be one of peace and happiness for both of us. I have wanted to go to counseling for a long time but he gets really upset when I talk about it.
Any suggestions are greatly appreciated and I want to make some changes. I don't want to shrivel up!
