This gave me a lot to think about Honeypot. I think part of it is shame on his part because he has alluded to that before. I know that he has trouble now with maintaining an erection and I don’t have to be a man to know that is a huge blow to the ego. We did try Cialis (that stuff REALLY works like nobody’s business just in case someone wanted to know) but the medication caused his stomach to go into hissy fits.
Quote: “Or does he feel entitled to not do anything because he is the one suffering and you are not?”
This is a possibility because twice he has said “I wish it was you and not me then you would understand” maybe he is unconsciously angry that he is ill and I am not. I have asked him to see a counselor on more than on occasion but he refuses to go. We have gone round and round about the lack of sex and the QUALITY of the sex that we do have. It is much more one-sided than it used to be.
A few months ago I had been waiting for something-anything to happen and he came up and really kissed me at the sink when I was washing dishes. Next thing I know he’s dragging me off to the bathroom – the kids were outside – and I thought well well, we will have an interesting little interlude. NO WE DID NOT! He got his jollies and left me hanging high and dry. I was pissed off but said nothing. I just let it go. A week or so later he came up said something about sex – can’t remember exactly what it was but I said in no uncertain terms, “if it is what I got last week NO THANKS” He apologized and said he was wrong after we had a few ugly words. I told him I could go the rest of my life with out being his bang hole (excuse my ugliness – I was pretty mad) and that if that was the best he could offer to keep it to himself. As I said we used to have a stormy marriage and every now and then we can revert back to Hurricane strength fights. This was one of them.
He actually had the gall to tell me he’d get it from somewhere else! That really pissed me off and I told him By all means – do you think I give a damn?
I guess what puzzles me is that we had always had a wonderful sex life. Nothing boring about our bedroom. We were always trying new ways to please the other and now even when we do have sex it rarely is satisfying. I spend most of my time telling myself to put a tight lid on my sexual responses because who knows when I will be able to release it? When time comes it seems to take a lot longer to get aroused like I used to – but like I said he doesn’t make love to me like he used to. It is more like “I will get my jollies and then you can get your’s” It is more like mutual masturbation than making love and it is not the same to me.
You have given me much to think over. He and I will be having an indepth conversation soon.
