I have asked him several times to read the book. I know of at least 2 times he PROMISED to read the book after we had a rather TESTY conversation.
He said/acknowledges that our sex life is not what it used to be and he has assured me that it is not that he doesn't find me attactive. In fact in the 2 years ago I went on a major revamp and lost a considerable amount of weight which he really wanted me to do. So I KNOW that I look better now than I have in years. He has been very supportive and appreciative of my efforts in that area and thinks I look terrific (his words not mine).
Anyway, he feels I should be more understanding of his condition and that if he felt able that we would have sex more often. Currently we have sex about every 3 weeks. Sometimes a little more frequently but usually about every 3 weeks.
I know alot of people would say then what's the problem considering some people on this board are going months/years without sex. But it is a big deal for me. We used to have sex 3-4 times a week. Also, now it seems like when we do have sex it is him getting his jollies and I often get left out of the mix. I realize that bouncing around is not very good for someone who has Crohn's but I am not made of steel either. I got out on a web site recently and it said that people with Crohns shouldn't do things like horseback riding, water skiing, and sex could cause the same flairups. Oh joy thrill - then I really felt like a heel.
He feels that I should just suck up and get over it. I have tried to explain to him that alot of it is I miss the intimacy that we used to share. He has never been a demonstrative person & I got the "fix" for that hugging/kissing/touching through sex. Now he rarely touches me - I have to approach him and then I never know if he is going to push me away. Generally he wiggles away like a 4 year old.
I know my situation is somewhat different from others on this board because ours is due to illness - but the end result is the same.
I put the book away in my closet. I hate asking him again - I hate upsetting him because when he gets upset the Crohns can really flair up.
I have asked God to take away my desire. At this point in my life it is not a plus. I want only him so leaving him is NOT an option. I love him with all my heart and always have.
