I had to step away from posting for awhile myself. It just constantly kept it churned up for me.
I don't think my H realises he is being selfish. He had always been an excellent lover - he flipped my switches anyway!
I have begged him to read the book SSM but so far he has not. I even left it on his pillow when I left for a 5 day trip. He just tossed it aside. He thinks because he is aware that here is a problem that that is good enough.
We have had some in depth conversations on the subject and he has said that we should get a divorce so that I could persue a relationship. What an A**. I have told him that I don't want anyone but him and I don't. That makes me feel so shallow too. I know that sex is not the end all be all of life - it is just the icing (cream cheese at that) on the cake and the cherry on top. I end up feeling like a total heel - he does have a problem that causes running diarhia and severe stomache cramps. This is pretty much an every day thing for him. One day I had a severe stomache attack and I thought to myself, "Do you feel like having sex? Do you feel like going through the physical side of vigorous sex at this moment?" The answer to myself was not hardly. Last thing I wanted at that moment.
When you are dealing with a cronic illness everyone loses something and there are sacrifices to be made.
I try to focus on the good aspects of our marriage - which there are lots now. We used to have a very STORMY marriage but now we mostly have smooth sailing.
He is a very hard worker and a good provider. Last year he took me for a weeks vacation in Grand Cayman and we just got back from a weeks cruise to Mexico. We go out almost every Saturday night to dinner and to get me a Starbucks Latte.
I keep busy and involved in crafts. Last year I crocheted - to the tune of 9 complicated afghans. This year it is cakes - making a wedding cake right now. I concentrate on making him happy too. I try to be the best wife I can and not be demanding or pissy. Sometimes I do a very bad job at that.
I am 45 years old - way to young to shrivel up and die sexually.
I will continue to work towards peace and harmoney and enjoy what sex life we do have. I hope things get better for you. I will continue to read your former posts and hopefully I can help you in some sort of way.
