Mike, I went back and reviewed some of your first posts so I could understand your situation a little better.
I do not work for my church but I am an adult bible class teacher. My H and I have been married almost 22 years and been together for 25 years. We have 3 children - 2 boys and a girl, one daughter in law and a grandson on the way.
My H has had Crohn's since he was a teenager. He will be 50 in November. In the past 14 1/2 years we have battled illness and injuries, job loss, college, etc.
We used to have the BEST sex life I could imagine and I have a pretty vivid imagination. It has gradually gone down hill and has caused many hurt feelings along with anger and guilt.
This is supposed to be death do you part - in sickness and health, etc. I take that all for serious but I still miss making love to him like we used to. We still ML but sometimes it is just him getting his jollies and I am left out in the cold and pretty pissed off about it.
Sometimes the phyiscal aspects of sex makes his Crohn's kick in and that is the pits. I end up feeling like a petty witch with a capital B.
I miss the intimacy we used to share - I miss the little sexual inuendos he used to throw at me - I miss him "copping a feel" when he walked by - all gone for the most part.
I still think he is the best looking thing in shoe leather. He still looks fantastic to me and yet he might as well be my best friends husband for the most part.
I hardly ever approach him to ML but he almost 100% of the time will say no - got more excuses than Carter has liver pills. Yet the rational side of me says he may not be feeling good at that moment - the witch side of me says that since he is not interested because of medication he forgets that I am still VERY interested.
All in all, most of the time I drag a big sore spot around with me and I don't like that either. I don't like feeling sorry for myself or haveing a reason to feel sorry for myself!
Sorry this was such a long post. I'd quit posting for awile - it was getting hard to cope with and making me sadder when I see all of these guys out there jumping through hoops just for a little attention from their spouse.
My H is good to me - we just returned from a 7 day cruise to Mexico. We had a great time and did make love but it had been a long time before the cruise since the last time! And the first time was a quicky for him which gives me the RA like you just can not imagine. I wanted to throw him overboard - like I said - sometimes I am not rational!
I am working each day on not being sad. I pray everyday that they will find a cure for Crohn's and it will not longer hold a grip over my life.
