Thanks everyone for your comments. I was standing on the garbage cans ready to jump, but you've talked me down.
I already knew the answer to be that there was no answer. I was just having a "hole in the middle" day. (If that hole wasn't so big and a little higher I could....nevermind.)
I don't like hearing that I haven't accepted what might be, though. I thought I was sad because I had accepted it and hated it. Oh well, more work to do.
Thanks again. It's good to know that someone can relate to what I feel.
Mike - taking a much needed break from HOM to fuse
