Hiya Barn, I would have to guess that the reason the sadness is so harsh is that you have NOT accepted your situation. There really is no way, imo, to ever fully accept a situation like that unless something happens to your own libido and you forget about the problem altogether.
What helped me with sadness was giving up the charade. When I started speaking my feelings and doing it frequently, the sadness started to fade although it was still a while before noticeable improvements were made.
I felt more empowered and less captive, kwim? For me, that's where the sadness was coming from--the seeming futility of the whole thing. We were living lives of quiet desperation and I couldn't take the desperation any longer.
But, yes, I think we all know where you are coming from. There were days on end where I would do nothing but cry. The thing that snapped me out of it was that I am a stay at home mother and what kind of example is that to set for your kids? Someone who is crying off and on, for days?
I think as long as you put yourself in a position where you WAIT for change (as opposed to forcing it, in a purely schnarchian way, now) you will continue to feel sad because SHE will continue to do what has always worked for her--nothing.
