Quote: I've realized that - whether he knows it or not (and I do not think he does), I've tailored SO MANY BEHAVIORS toward him so that I might increase my chances of sexual closeness. I'm sure you all know what I mean. But I'm reeling from realizing just how much this whole issue has pervaded my daily life, every little thing I do. Don't upset him. Don't criticize him. Give him a certain number of compliments daily. Give him all the cuddling/massage he wants. Buy him presents, etc. Of course, I usually love doing all these things for him, anyway (as part of a loving relationship) but I'm realizing that in the back of my mind, especially when the relationship is sexually dry, I'm hoping and hoping to increase my chances.
That’s my life in a nutshell. Amazingly enough, I never realized it until just recently. I’ve only been aware of it since stumbling across SSM and reading it. It really opened my eyes to a lot of things that have been going on in my M for years.
It's a hard habit to break. But you've got company.
