SBH, On the subject of pressure... You have been pussy footing around for years trying to reduce pressure as have I but I am now taking a different approach. Just think about it. What actually is this "pressure"? It is your expressions of LOVE. When you look at it in that way you can see there is no reason why you should not be able to express your love for your H. Taking this view, I have started to apply MORE "pressure" to force my LDW to confront her fears and deal with them. At the same time I am making it clear to her that I am dealing with my own problems af anger and frustration through self-soothing etc. My W and probably your H has a lack of confidence about their bodies and sexuality that reinforces their LD and causes them to avoid it at all cost. To try and give more confidence and desensitise her to the whole subject and try to reduce her inhibitions I now do what I never dared to do before and get into bed naked, hug her and say "Let's talk about sex" (it's pressure but not as much as "Lets make love"). She never says much but I always tell her how much I love her etc. She is getting used to hearing the word "sex" that caused her to shiver with fear not long ago. As time passes I intend to say more about what I would like from our relationship and hopefully she will listen (and even take action) rather than freeze up. One other thing. Do you give too much attention? My desire is so high that it is nearly impossible for me not to touch and cuddle her whenever she is nearby. This gets overwhelming and annoying to the LD so I try to hold back a bit and reduce the quantity of low quality affection so the affection she does get is higher quality and more welcome. SD
