I really don't want my W the way she is now. I want her the way she was when we first started dating and the way she was before she became unhappy in the M. The thing that I want changed is me. I have done and am doing that.
If I had her like she was and the new me I'm sure we would both be happy. That is why I don't have any hope, because she may never love me like she did then.
I also know with my vunerablilty now that I would take her back and be the new me in hopes she would love me again. I would galdly take the chance of going thru this pain again just to prove to her how much I love her. Only a few of you that have been following my thread know how much I have struggled.
Short answers: 1) The intense love I have for her. 2) I'm a glutton for punishment. 3) I want to prove my love to her. 4) I want to atone for my mistakes. 5) I want her to feel loved. 6) I want to ML to her again. 7) The thing I want most is for her to be happy with or without me.
