Quote: someone whose opinion i value very highly recently told me that my husband confessing to me after everything was completely over and done with was a complete act of selfishness on his part - this relieved HIM of all his guilt and feelings of pain but laid upon all those feelings on to an unsuspecting innocent person
That is a tight rope to walk. Are you "telling" so you can ask forgiveness, or are you "telling" to relieve your conscience? If it is forgiveness for oneself that is needed, one does not need to pour their guilt onto another. It is possible to forgive without causing additional pain.
It sounds like your H ,as well as mine, confessed to relieve themselves of their guilt, not because they were truly sorry for their actions and wanted forgiveness.
