Quote: Thanks for your post. However, to me forgiveness is rather hard when I KNOW there is someone out there that hates my guts. It's kinda hard to say, "I forgive myself," when I picture someone spitting out whatever they are drinking to yell, "What the HELL?" if she heard such a ridiculous notion.
That forgiveness is NEVER coming. So, my own forgiveness is a bit pointless to me. I would try to make things right, however, I doubt that it will do me any good.
Pam, that does it - you must be my long-lost twin seperated at birth. I know exactly what you mean. Forgiving onesself can seem pretty hollow if the 'injured party' is still very far from forgiving us, and perhaps never will. For example, I know that, no matter how much the children like me, some part of them will always hope I'll drop off the edge of the earth so that Mommy and Daddy can get back together again. It's only natural. *sigh* I did have a (rather awkward) talk with my H's Ex-wife, in which I told her I appreciated her (flawless) behaviour to me when we met, and ever since, that I knew it must have been hard, and that I was sorry for the pain she must have gone through. She responded by saying that she'd wanted what was best for the kids, that it hadn't been easy, but that I was a nice person and that everything else was now in the past. I hope that means she's forgiven me - but I still haven't forgiven myself.
