Friends, Squatters and Lurkers--Life in a fishbowl

[sage]

Re: e-mail - from a practical point of view, what difference does it make whether you have the password to his primary account or not? If he really wanted to talk to someone behind your back, he could get a free web-based yahoo/hotmail account faster than you can say "Jack Robinson", and you'd never know about it. So while the whole "trust" issue may have to be addressed, I'd let the e-mail thingey go, as it serves no purpose.

Pen

Yah...I wasn't actually suggesting that I need/want/desire/whatever his password.

My point was this (after noting that I may be totally confused about what's going on in this thread..!)...what's the "right" level of concern that one is supposed to express about something?

IOW...(again, I acknowledge a lack of understanding of history)...why is saying "cool, will he mind hanging out with you if I'm not there" an indication of lack of caring or concern for what one's spouse is doing?

Would "I'm uncomfortable with that friendship" be good? controlling? untrusting? what?

I'm actually NOT referring to anything specific going on in my sitch...I think it's more the swirl in my head...how am I (or anyone for that matter) supposed to respond if h said to me "I'm going out with FF mary for dinner next thursday" -- is "have a good time" an indication that I don't care?

I'm sure I'm not getting it...

Sage