I gotta admit I'm confused...what's the line between "trying not to control the behavior of another by acting mad about it" and "giving the impression that you don't care"? [Note: I'm exhausted today and my head's not completely in the game so there's a good chance I'm missing this point entirely... ]
Quote: But the similarities seem eerie and make me feel as though I'm ready to address this stuff with Mr. Wonderful in the near future. I, too, perceive(d) him not to care about what I did or didn't do.
When OM came out for a visit, he smiled and said, "This means I can work more. Do you think he'd mind hanging out with you without me?"
Did he realize what I thought he was telling me? I don't give a rats ass if you sleep with him or not. Love him or not. Love me or not. Just leave me be.
Let me frame it another way since there's history in the above quote that I'm sure I don't know about...
After h's EA the ONE BIG thing that hasn't changed is his privacy re. his e-mail accounts. I'll admit that early on post-EA I tried to make it a big deal ("I need you to be more open...") but since h recoils at any sign of my trying to control him AND since trust has been a big issue, I suck it up constantly and try NOT to feel freaked out about not truly knowing what's going on in that arena...
Is that a suggestion to him that I don't care in some fashion?
If h develops another close friendship with a woman aren't I supposed to ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach and recognize that it could be my insecurities or trust issues or whatever and NOT make a big deal about it or is that some "message" to him that I don't care if he has another EA?
That thought is absolutely exhausting to me.
Anyway...on another topic...if you liked "The Four Agreements" let me also recommend "The Mastery of Love" by the same author (Ruiz).
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
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