I found something in a book last night that I thought I'd share. I particularly thought of Randy when I read it, but thought it might hit home with others too.
This is Principle #9 from a book of 365 principles to heal and transform your relationships....
I can feel rejected only when I am trying to take something "We can only feel hurt, rejected, or heartbroken when we surreptitiously take from our partner under the guise of giving. If we feel rejected, we are being asked to take a look at where in the situation we are giving to take. We can only feel rejected when we get our hand slapped as it sneaks toward the cookie jar.
Wholeness makes no demands. No one can reject us when there is nothing that we need. In moving forward, fully giving, and asking nothing, we cannot be pushed away, because we are irrestistible. It does not matter what the other person's behavior is because we are not trying to have them do it our way to meet our needs. Even if they pushed us away, we would openly feel ourselves loving them, becasue we are not trying to get something from them.
Nobody can stop our love, nobody can stop our giving, and this is waht we really want, just to give to them. We can give even from thousands of miles away. Only when we are giving to take can we feel hurt at all.
Today, let go of what you have been trying to take, and give fully. Give your support without asking that anything be returned to you. Giving is not a form of manipulation or a sacrifice to get something back from someone. When you truly give, it will move you forward, open, enlarge, and enhance you.
Oh, and there's this: A Broken Heart is Always an Attempt to Control Someone Through Guilt A Broken Heart means that we are on the losing end of a power struggle. Basically, our broken heart is an attempt to make others feel guilty so that they will meet our needs or do things our way; it's a form of emotional blackmail. The attempt to control will neither bring happiness nor get our needs met; it will just create a bigger power struggle.
