Bets, I have finally caught up on your thread and it was a real eye opener. You really need to forgive yourself. That is in the past and it can't be changed. How do you expect your H to forgive you if you can't forgive yourself?
Now about the shame you and others feel. I think my W feels that also and I'm afraid it may be enough to keep her from coming back. What could your H do (if anything) to help you get rid of the shame?
I ask this because I have forgiven my W and I am trying to forget it as much as possible. I would like to convey this to her. I have told her I forgive her, but it was at a time she didn't want to hear anything nice from me and still doesn't.
You have paid the price for your sins. If you have asked God for forgiveness then it is done. Now forgive yourself.
