Thanks for such an interesting post. I am so incredibly humbled at all of the folks who are willing to candidly share their experiences and thoughts here. (that means you, Betsey, Pen, Pamela and others)
When and if you feel compelled to dive into that water yourself, Kitti, it will be when you are ready and when doing so will help you go forward somehow.
The shame issue is such a biggie, huh? One we all seem to deal with in some way, no matter what our roles have been in the M that brought us here. There is a lot to work through. I know that being able to talk about the reality of my H's A and our M here has helped me tremendously to get past the shame I felt for a long time as the LBS and what was fueling it. And to explore the shame my H has tried to communicate to me that he feels, and the ways in which even my most justifiable/understandable reactions contributed. What a web it all is!
It has also helped me to clarify my own values and get a whole lot better at seeing where my daily actions match them and don't match them so I can make changes. That is the biggest gift of all for me because it has changed my life the most.
Kitti, you've come such a long way and given a lot on this BB. I suspect you've given a lot to yourself as well. I admire you for your journey. If and when you decide you might wish to share some of it with us, well, that's icing on the cake. The hard work is all you, girl.
