I think you have a great point there...and good for you GF for going out, doing something for yourself, and having a great time!!! You definitely deserved it!
Thank you Lass! It was a nice time; I even talked one of my sisters into ordering a beer so I could have a couple sips. Nothing like beer and bbq!
H is, predictably, chasing after me this morning although I could really give a sh*t less. I feel good about myself and really don't want to play this "I draw back, he pursues, I go closer, he withdraws" game any longer.
My H used to order some wine when I was pregnant too...so I could have a couple sips. And I certainly understand not wanting to play that "game"...but definitely keep up doing things for yourself...I've really found that helps my outlook on things soooo much, it helps me to feel better about myself.
Lass, I should clarify that I am not feeling anger towards my husband; I am not sure how my first posts were coming off. I feel fine towards him. Definitely not horny for him or feeling the love, as they say, but happy towards him for sure. We have been exchanging pleasantries this morning and he wants to take me out to dinner.
All this seems so silly. I have to push things to such an extreme to get him to face reality. Oh well, I will just enjoy the day and see where time takes us.
I do know one thing, though. It was obvious to me that I was suddenly more attractive in H's eyes when I was doing something for myself. This might be a key that I have been overlooking.
HP... I am so happy you had a nice nite. I know you are a straight player, and so am I, but somehow insisting on being desired has a reverse effect and to paraphrase NOPkins, "you need to find a way to put your needs on his list." I have found that my high desire has had a negative effect on H, and I could spend hrs speculating why this is so, try to talk to him about it, etc. and it won't have any effect. I would lose my integrity if I had to pretend that my desire is lower than it is, but I think that there are ways to get what I want when the direct approach fails, without feeling I am being manipulative or disingenuous. As I recall, Mojo seemed to spark her H by being a bit more selfish and "out there"; I just think men in general do respond to a bit of the chase, and we HD types sort of made it all too available to them. I would never purposely make my H jealous; it's just not in my character, but to go ahead and enjoy myself and not be so readily accountable every second is intriguing, and as I type this I see he does this to me. Anyway, I am off to visit my homesick daughter ( gone 2 weeks now) and can't wait to just hug her. Have a great weekend everyone, Journey
Journey, Aw give that girl a big hug from me too. Poor baby.
Yes H has even said to me that the fact that it is always available makes him less 'hungry' for it. I know this is an inescapable fact of a desire clash, but you are right..I am not the type to play games so that just wouldn't work for us. I have never tried to make ANYONE jealous, ever, as far as I can recall. If they felt jealous, that was their problem. I am not the type of person to do questionable things in order to get attention. (well except in the privacy of my own bedroom, lol!)
So while I do think that he likes that I am an open book, it probably also makes me a tad boring in his eyes. He knows where I am, what I am doing and what I am thinking about (sex). One of the things that makes a new relationship so exciting is that the other person is NOT an open book and there is an element of excitement.
When I worked, there was more of this because I was gone from him for the entire day. He didn't know where I was or whom I was talking to, or who I might have lunch with. (I traveled and was bad about reporting in where I was going every day..I came home to him every night so why bore him with the details I thought) Again, I never once did anything questionable but he didn't know my exact whereabouts and whowithabouts for every stinkin day of my life.
However, even back then he was not as sexually stimulated by me as I wanted him to be, so that is not the entire equation. I have no problem with finessing out of him what I need but that has been comprising nearly ALL of our interactions lately and that's gotta go. The other interactions were mercy sex. I am going to stand firm that he learn how to show desire. He told me last week that he felt desire for me on Saturday afternoon and then again on Tuesday night. Now, this sounds excessively LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW to me. I did not say that to him, but I will admit it to you! I just replied, Mmm hmmm.. what did you do with it when you felt it? He said, not much. Waited til the evening and then decided if he was too tired to do anything with it. I'll let you guess the rest.
Oh well, I feel good today. It is hard for me to mope for two whole days.
annette said: ------------- So glad things have worked out so well for you. I think in every marriage/relationship, no matter how good it is, there are going to be differences and arguements.
BTW I am working on hubby, taking it slow. Don't wanna overload him to much all at once. -------------
Thanks annette.
I am glad you are not giving up. When you get to the point that both of you are in the game, then you will have fought 90% of the battle.
You can do this! -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
