Hi HP, My H is a clock watcher too. He wants to make sure he gets enough rest for work--after all, he has a very stressful job. I bought into this BS for a while ( notice how great a clock watcher he is when he's out with his buddies). My H will also go to bed and discuss the most dry, unsexy topic, and as I resign myself to the discussion and am inwardly rolling my eyes, suddenly he is interested in sex. I guess he somehow senses the pressure is off and can respond. I am learning to ignore a lot of this behavior, but I do feel bad that he feels so under the gun with me, and then feel sorry for myself for marrying such a nut case. Guess it takes one to know one.
Remember that short list we talked about in earlier posts? The one where we were figuring out our most basic needs? For me, that consisted of ML 2x/ week ( there were quality issues as well but I won't get into it here). In my most PM way, after repeated discussions, I made those needs known to him and put the ball in his court. I gave him the responsibility to follow through and promised myself to keep a happy attitude while waiting it out. I am beginning to see he is coming through for me and I can calm myself down knowing that my most basic needs are being taken care of. As I gain more confidence in him, I can have fun thinking about how our weekly sex life will play itself out, and if there will be any perks. I am not at that level yet. If a week goes by that ends up being a bust, I will have to confront him and remind him of my expectations. I'm hoping in time that the psych factors that prevent us from intimacy will lessen and all of this will be much more natural...in other words, maybe he'll come to want the sex/intimacy as much as I do, or not fight it as much. J-- who isn't going to gain weight from this sex diet, but who is not starving either
