As I have written here before, my H is very cyclical with his sexuality. He will go for days (or weeks) where he is passionate--or as passionate as he gets--and loving and desirous of me. Then it's like a switch is thrown and he pulls away and nothing I do can get him thinking sexy again.
He is currently in a sexy phase so I am enjoying life once again, lol, but I am still at a loss as to how to approach the nonsexy times. How to either help him out of the down cycle, force him into a crucible over it (my H is remarkably crucible-resistant), or what.
Earlier this week, I shaved, had him lotion my privates up, tried to pull him into me to enjoy it further, all no dice. This went on for 5 days. Then we finally had some of the hottest sex we've ever had and now he's don juan again. For instance, last night I came home after being out for the night and he started talking finances as soon as I got into bed. I could literally feel his body tense, bp rise, his voice was getting louder...in short, he was stressin. Being an HD female I thought to myself, "well there goes any shot I had of getting some action" and carried on the finance conversation with him. He even said, I know you hate talking about this stuff at bedtime. Gee! I wonder why...
Then he kissed me goodnight and I felt his body jump, like he had electricity going thru him. He went for another kiss and another. Suddenly it dawned on me that he was getting turned on! I was VERY surprised because just two days ago, the finances were so stressful that he couldn't ML at all, let alone immediately after a conversation about it.
It was not all wine and roses, though. He did have to mention the late hour (nine something)..second guessing himself I suppose.. He also mentioned that we would have a lot more sex if the foreplay didn't have to "last so long". I politely pointed out to him that it is extremely difficult for me to become aroused by a man who is falling asleep MULTIPLE times while he is caressing me. And that every time he falls asleep I go back to ground zero and he has to start over. I also told him that I get angry really quickly when he does this and I have to fight the urge to say, "Your fingers are stroking my cl*t!! Are ya tellin me that it does so little for you that you are asleep?!?"
So all in all, we are in a good place right now. I am still brainstorming trying to figure out how to deal with the down cycle, when it inevitably appears. At one point, I asked him what I could do to get his mind in a good place and turn him on when he is like that. I must have had more desperation in my voice than I thought (my grip on myself was coming loose, I guess!) and he replied with a very sad voice..almost like he felt sorry for me that he gets in these moods in which there is little I can do but wait it out. He didn't, however, have any suggestions for what I can do.
