Tom, Is it so much to ask that he ML to me because I am hot AND he loves me? Whaaaaa! Ok, ok, I get your point. Yes the man does love me and would do just about anything I ask, in order to have and keep a happy marriage. For that, I am so grateful that I can't even express it in words.
I am just a needy person who wants to be shown loads of desire. That is my own problem to deal with. Btw, I intend to be hot well into old age, so I don't know what you are talking about....
Annette, good to know! I will probably not go for a brazilian until I am finished with being pregnant, simply because of the possible risk of infection....? What do you think of that? I am not a paranoid pregnant woman but I want to avoid complications at all costs, as I intend to have the baby at home and must stay healthy in order to do that.
Where do you buy the bikini cream? Is it a walgreens type of thing or do you buy the fancy salon stuff?
Waiting till after the baby has arrived might be a good thing to do. I personally couldn't imagine getting waxed while prego, but hey, stranger things have happened. The bikini cream I get came from the salon. When I walked in there I had no idea there was such a thing. I have no idea if you can get it at the drug store or not since I have had this same tube for a year now and still using it. It only takes a little. And Yes, it was expensive, but well worth it.
Quote: There is no way on this earth my W would get that area waxed.....
Seriously, Lee. I can't even get my W to let me wax her Volvo, much less her vulva. Hairdog - whose W actually drives and Audi, but it wasn't as funny.
My W all for me waxing the VOLVO(we dont actually own a volvo but I was trying to say with it) but now way on the Vulva. I have been lucky enough to shave it a couple of times times but she really doesn't like it. Even though I think it is sexy as hell.
So nothing much happened last night. I knew it wouldn't because at some point in the day I decided I was not in the mood to accept mercy sex, no matter how lovingly it was packaged. Don't get me wrong, there will be a lot of times in the future when I will accept it graciously because I can truly see now (couldn't for a while) that this is a loving and generous thing that my H does for me.
But I just wanted to be desired and appreciated and if he was too stressed out to do this, which he was, then I was okay with waiting. It almost degenerated into a "talk"...I could feel it building in me as he tiptoed around the fact that A) We had a date; and B) he desperately wanted to stand me up on said date. I don't mind that he changed his mind but I HATE (attention any LD lurkers..this is the crucial part) when he pretends that he has forgotten a promise made. I know he hasn't forgotten, he knows I haven't forgotten so why the charade? I'm sure he was afraid of my reaction but honestly it has been a loooooooong time since he has had to fear my reaction. It is funny how he wants me to forgive and forget all his past transgressions and look at them and say "It is history" but he still obviously believes that my changes are conditional.
So we were laying there with him refusing to touch me anywhere but my back, lest he accidentally turn himself on, and he finally spoke up and said, I know we had a date tonight.............
Whew! That's all it took for me. I felt the tension dissolve right away and we had a nice laugh over what a whacko he is, in that he can't relax enough to feel desire while dealing with large amounts of stress. (note: he was calling himself a whacko, not me, so it was fair of me to laugh!) He said tonight he will feel much better. Well I know him well enough to know that tonight it will be the fact that we have to pick up the new car tomorrow and tomorrow it will be that he needs to check out the new car and tire pressure, etc. I said why don't we hook up on Thursday cause I don't think you're going to be able to function until then!
So it really IS about the other person making themselves vulnerable instead of you. Him acknowledging my need for sex, while acknowledging that he was unable to provide it because of his shortcomings totally eradicated that burning need for sex.
Hi HP... I can relate to your situation. I am in a place now where I can accept H's "head" a little better...that he has psych obstacles to overcome in order to ML, and have given up the fantasy that he has a burning need for me. He can better see his own stuff as well; he now knows that he was acting defensive and withholding, and pushes through that a bit better. The end result is that I am walking this tightrope between accepting where he's at versus having expectations from him, and lately we have had a good balance of things. I gave him some room to show his repsonsibility towards the marriage, and he spontaneously initiated ML last night...this enables me to wait it out til date night. The sex was pretty hot for us( more aggressive elements) and I am seeing he is trying in his way to make things work. Is it passionate, clothes ripping off nightly spontaneous sex? Hardly. But I am working with who he is and at the same time I am asserting what I need, and he's stepping up. J--- 4 days til date nite
