Strange thing... the day after I posted the last update, I began to get in touch with some very positive feelings about my H. Admitting to myself that my feelings for him have faded, and maybe never were quite as strong as they should have been... that has been hard to face, and maybe facing that reality made it possible for some stronger feelings for him to surface. Who knows, we may just pull through this after all.
It's hard not to dwell on the fact that a crisis is a such a difficult time, but I've been reminding myself that a crisis is also an exciting time!... when I think about the future... either a fresh start for my M, or a brand new life on my own... both of those futures are full of exciting possibility, and that's the beauty of a crisis, I think... that it clears the way for more wonderful things to happen.
I am feeling like one of the most important things for me to do now is to immerse myself in my daily life.
I'm taking a break from the forum, and from time on my lap top in general, so I wanted to thank all those who've commented on this thread. I looked back at my first post, and it's dated only five weeks ago. I can't believe that! Seems like I've been here for months. If my H and I do decide to reconcile, I may be back... this is a nice community, with so many smart people in it!
