My sister called today, we talked for a long while about things, and I am feeling a little better.
Thanks for reminding me that OM's apparant jealousy about me planning to go back to my M means nothing without action.
Time to wallow... Yes, I feel like I need to get MOVING, physically, and all my hobbies (like reading) are sedentary, so I am going to get back to walking and yoga and dance, hopefully that will help me over these awful blues.
"So what will be your next step after you get everything "off your chest" and deal with the OM trying to get you back and you getting closure on that by saying no and sticking with it?"
I like your optimism! It's weird... sometimes I feel SO SURE I will stick with it, no problem, and then doubt comes in. I made a list of everything I did not like about being involved with OM (a long list!) and plan to refer to it if I feel weak.
"... something to think about for your M plan. Do you have any attainable goals that you are thinking about, once your are done with your OM?"
One problem my H and I have is that we have very different ideas of how to solve M problems. And last week we actually came to a mutual understanding about how to fix that... for the first time in 13 years! So, I guess one goal is putting that into practice and seeing how it works out.
Since I don't start my new job till August, and school lsts only 2 more weeks, and my H has lots of vacation time, I am thinking a road trip might be fun, and might keep my mind off OM a little more than if I were at home, with my laptop staring at me.
Assuming I can pull off this wrap-up with OM, my main M worry is my feelings for H coming back. When I tried to wrap up with OM before, the first week of no contact, and trying to relate to H, was so hard. I do love my H, but I felt like I had been kidnapped by him and waiting for OM to show up with the ransom. Guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time and try to remain optimistic.
