It seems as if you are heavily pursuing OM and then sitting back and waiting for H to pursue YOU in this fashion. Almost as if you are wanting to recreate the scene from when you met, years ago. H strong and passionate with his love and unwavering with his desire to win you from OM. Are you hoping that this type of effort from H will inspire you to fall in love with him again, as it did when you first met?
Lack of passion between two people is no small thing so I am NOT making light of this at all or in any way putting you down.
My H and I have similar sexual dynamics as you do..both of us like to be pursued which leads to lots of stalemates. With lots of work, we are starting to make some real headway although there are more stops and starts than I could count.
One other question for you: What is it that you get from the relationship with OM? From where we are all sitting, it doesn't look like much. Here is a man who gets to fire off a couple of steamy emails a day to you which keep you hanging on and "worshipping" him and then he gets to go home to his life with his wife, where the REAL living starts!
What do you get out of it? I suppose I see this situation as one where you will not inspire the kind of passion that you want from your H (because you are not emotionally invested in the R and passion usually stems from some kind of emotional response) and so you will lose H. Then you will wake up one day and realize that you never really "had" OM and will give up on him finally.
Then you will be alone! I don't see what you have to gain in this situation and why it is worth it to you to risk it...? If you are not satisfied with the passion in your marriage, I understand that (btdt, in fact) but I can't see why you would stay in this situation where you are not really GETTING any passion, just a weak substitute.
Leaving aside what your H and OM's wife deserves, don't you think that YOU deserve better?
