I agree with your post. I GET why people have affairs. Because people are imperfect, and it is tempting. "Wrong, immoral" ... I'm not going to comment on that because morality is a complex issue. There are many levels of moral reasoning, and many ways to see life problems within those levels of reasoning. I do not want to get into it beyond there, it would be opening a Pandora's box that I have no interest in opening.
I will say this, the wrongest part about it, to me, is the lying.
If spouses had to do it OPENLY hardly anyone would do it!!! (I would be in a minority).
Think about it... if marriages had a 100% honesty policy, if you could not fathom having an A without sharing that with your spouse, the affair rate would be something like 5% instead of 80%. I think it's the wilingness to lie that is at the root of the problem.
I think when you lie to someone, you take away their free will. Because in order to decide how to operate their will, they must be able to perceive reality properly. Right? And what do lies do... they distort reality.
I get why A's happen. They are not good things, they cause pain, but I understand why they go on. I do not get the lying, though. I do not get why it goes on. Why would anyone would WANT to be with someone they could not speak openly to, or expect the truth from?
If you don't have at least that much, is there really anything?? And if there is, how do you know?... couldn't THAT just be a lie too? See what I mean?
Maybe it's not as important as I think, but I don't see how that could be.
