I am so sorry! I know this is a big blow. I can somewhat relate, since my H had a pregnancy scare with his OGIRL this last winter.
It will be hard on your boys at first. I think they will need the steadiness and security of their mom even more in the coming months. Just try to focus on them and you for now. There is truly nothing you can do for H now.
Maybe this latest development will be just the thing for you to really REALLY detatch. I know when I heard my H might be a dad again, my very first thought was for my kids, but my next thought was anger! and sometimes it takes a little bit of anger to detatch.
I am here for you, and if you want to get together, just drop me an e-mail. My schedule is pretty light until fall.
Take care, SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
{{{{{Water}}}}} Oh sweetie... I can imagine how you are feeling. I hope you know what a wonderful person you are. I hope you can find the strength to live your wonderful life and live it well, without taking too many days to grieve. Be good to yourself. You are such a beacon of light, his loss is stupendous.
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly. -Richard Bach
Hang in there, water. You are going to make a magnificent butterfly.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Water - I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I know how much it hurts.
Even though you have every right to be furious right now, and of course every right to decide your own course (I often suspect I could never have stood as long as many of you have) -let me, in the spirit of compassion, mention a few things: - her being pregnant does not change his actions. That is, he hasn't been more or less unfaithful just because she got pregnant. I know it makes it more uncomfortably real - but if you were willing to forgive his unfaithfulness before, why does this necessarily change that?
- this certainly explains a lot of his confusing behavior. Imagine his pain and confusion, being drawn back to you, having these wonderful weekends with you, wanting to return to you, but knowing he would have to tell you this fact which would probably cause him to lose you. Can you imagine how guilty and stupid he must have felt for screwing everything up? No wonder he was so depressed.
- obviously he doesn't really care for OW, if he hasn't rushed to her side to assume his responsibilities. One can only imagine his horrified response to this news, coming as it did just as he was waking from his fog and falling back in love with you.
Just some things to think about, Water. Hugs Ellie
My posting has been so sporadic and I'm sorry I didn't get over here sooner. My turtle friend, I don't know what to say...
Like you, my journey really began 2 years ago; I know how tired you must truly be. Fatigued to the bone and no energy left for yourself. All I can tell you is that letting go of working on the R was such a relief--I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.
And once that happened, my body told me how tired it really was... and is. If someone offered to step into my shoes and perform my jobs and take over my maternal duties, I swear I would sleep for a month.
I wish I had some magic wand to wave over you to make this all go away. I can only imagine how you might be feeling.
Seems like a bunch of us are going to be starting a new phase in our lives in the latter part of this year. Water, I can only tell you that I'm excited for the first time in a really long time that I'm ready to embark on a new chapter that is completely devoted to building a more happy and emotionally healthy me.
Now we get to start living for ourselves.
(((((Water)))))
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey