Ahhhh. Just when I thought it had truly faded into the ether... my BB friends find that thread and they drag it back, kicking and no longer screaming.
I am good. Better than good. And entirely because I choose to be. And because of the wonderful folks here with me.
Sunseeker! I think I've arrived at the place you promised me I'd get to. Healed. Opening. Happy with who I have grown into these grueling months.
As that eerie Cainer fellow pointed out today... I do have so much in my life.
H is ensconced where I left him... in his rented house with OW. He wants to be my friend. He misses my friendship. He's suggested we meet to talk in person, has shared selected pieces of his life with me, is even acting on occasion like a man I actually recognize... yet he talks to me as if OW is imaginary-- talks around her as if he lives alone, was dishonest and avoidant in our discussions about settlement. He doesn't act like a friend.
We've had some tense conversations of late. Interesting that the email version of the blank stare or walking away mid-conversation doesn't bother me anymore.
Everyone Else in my life chooses to be real, honest, forthcoming, thoughtful, caring, healthy with me... and that is so much more fulfilling, isn't it?
Yes, Totally, I am still dancing. By myself. And not. And smiling a whole lot.
I am incredibly busy with my high-visibility yet still precariously balanced job. I have dragged myself off to dates and met the Perfectly Nice Guys. My community projects are fun and take up lots of time when I want that. Yoga is keeping my body and mind flexible. Doing lots of work on my house. My friends and family are my amazing grace.
Still taking those coconut bubble baths and curing my stress with lingerie shopping or chocolate or hikes with my camera or long talks with good friends (or all of the above... do what works, right?). So many of the things that sustain us on this journey are worth keeping.
As the song goes... every little thing is gonna be allright.
The magic show in progress will continue after this commercial break.
