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Hey Wonder!

I've been on hiatus from the BB myself. It's done me good too. Sounds like it might be for similar reasons?

Write me if you want while you're away. I think about you often. underdog_dbatyahoodotcom

Bets


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
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Hey Wonder ~
Quote:

FYI all, I may not be posting much for a bit... but I'm alive out here!



I have been the same way lately. I agree with Underdog, I think it is good to take a break sometimes. I try to check in once or twice a week with the people in my "favorite threads" and of course, you are one of them!

Keep on dancing...........


Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
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I think about you often, too, O Inspiring One. But you know that!

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We know you're still alive out there and probably still dancing but just checking in to see how it's going. A quick monthly update perchance?

Totally missing you!

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wonder Offline OP
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Ahhhh. Just when I thought it had truly faded into the ether... my BB friends find that thread and they drag it back, kicking and no longer screaming.

I am good. Better than good. And entirely because I choose to be. And because of the wonderful folks here with me.

Sunseeker! I think I've arrived at the place you promised me I'd get to. Healed. Opening. Happy with who I have grown into these grueling months.

As that eerie Cainer fellow pointed out today... I do have so much in my life.

H is ensconced where I left him... in his rented house with OW. He wants to be my friend. He misses my friendship. He's suggested we meet to talk in person, has shared selected pieces of his life with me, is even acting on occasion like a man I actually recognize... yet he talks to me as if OW is imaginary-- talks around her as if he lives alone, was dishonest and avoidant in our discussions about settlement. He doesn't act like a friend.

We've had some tense conversations of late. Interesting that the email version of the blank stare or walking away mid-conversation doesn't bother me anymore.

Everyone Else in my life chooses to be real, honest, forthcoming, thoughtful, caring, healthy with me... and that is so much more fulfilling, isn't it?

Yes, Totally, I am still dancing. By myself. And not. And smiling a whole lot.

I am incredibly busy with my high-visibility yet still precariously balanced job. I have dragged myself off to dates and met the Perfectly Nice Guys. My community projects are fun and take up lots of time when I want that. Yoga is keeping my body and mind flexible. Doing lots of work on my house. My friends and family are my amazing grace.

Still taking those coconut bubble baths and curing my stress with lingerie shopping or chocolate or hikes with my camera or long talks with good friends (or all of the above... do what works, right?). So many of the things that sustain us on this journey are worth keeping.

As the song goes... every little thing is gonna be allright.

The magic show in progress will continue after this commercial break.

yours most sincerely,
wonder

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Wonder,

Awesome! You sound so good!

I'm still on the rollercoaster.
Sometimes we look at our H's like they are lost children and frankly want to get away from them and their problems.

Keep us posted on how you've doing!

Hugs
Deb


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Wonder ~
WOW!!!!!!!!! You sound terrific.

I am so happy for you...welcome to my world...it is a nice place, isn't it?? I love the yoga, the dates, the friends and family and especially the coconut baths....you GO girl!!!!!!!!!!

My new mantra this summer has become..."Life is Good"....I really find myself saying that to myself many times a day!!

I could have written this myself........
Quote:

H is ensconced where I left him... in his rented house with OW. He wants to be my friend. He misses my friendship. He's suggested we meet to talk in person, has shared selected pieces of his life with me, is even acting on occasion like a man I actually recognize... yet he talks to me as if OW is imaginary-- talks around her as if he lives alone, was dishonest and avoidant in our discussions about settlement. He doesn't act like a friend.



Isn't it amazing that they act like the GF doesn't exist?? My ex does the same thing--it is actually laughable!! I KNOW he is still with her (although they don't live together....) since I have contact with his brother and his wife and they tell me more stories than I need to hear about him. They are mortified by his "new life" with her and that it is "all about him" these days. Sounds like yours and mine are in the same place...

Quote:

Interesting that the email version of the blank stare or walking away mid-conversation doesn't bother me anymore.


Isn't this the best part?? they can no longer get to us like they used to. It feels SO good!!!

Dance your way into a fun weekend Wonder, and please keep in touch. I have missed you!


Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
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wonder Offline OP
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Hi Deb & Sunny!

Thanks for the encouragement.

Quote:

I KNOW he is still with her since I have contact with his brother and his wife ... They are mortified by his "new life" with her and that it is "all about him" these days.




Hey, I could have written that!

I know my H has lots of conflicting emotions... some of them he has shared recently.

I also know that his "dishonesty" in the form of saying things that never occurred or avoiding big pieces of the truth is really just him trying to justify his behavior--it's about him wanting to be seen a certain way, something we've discussed many times before now.

I just don't want those kind of interactions anymore.

I'm really not at all interested in pretending none of this ever happened or even that it was justified and simply acting like a couple of old friends who just haven't seen each other in a while.

That's too bizarre for me and I don't think it's healthy for either of us to do that. I've been down that road already.

The path I am on now is mine... wherever it leads.

wonder

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Wonder ~
You truly sound great and I am so happy for you!! Sounds like your H and mine are cut from the same mold....

Quote:

I'm really not at all interested in pretending none of this ever happened or even that it was justified and simply acting like a couple of old friends who just haven't seen each other in a while.



Good point....I guess this is why I have become somewhat obsessed with closure over the past week. I like things out in the open and not swept "under the rug".

Do you think we will ever find out what they are /were truly thinking?? And if we do...will it matter?!


Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
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I wish people would use the word Friendship appropriately. There are so many other words in the english language that can be used, Friendship is not what your WA seems to be offering.

What it is, I don't know.

Take care of you though, which I know you have been doing. You obviously have lots of friends on and off the BB. Coconut baths and lingire shopping? That definitely sounds healthy!

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